Originally Published: June 1986
Dear Ann Landers,
I'm sorry you found that old song of mine crude and offensive. Actually, "Cold Ethyl" is just a harmless number about necrophilia. Kids see this for exactly what it is - satire, done with a sense of humor to a rock and roll beat. Kids know I'm harmless. It's parents that make me out to be some kind of a monster.
Dear Alice Cooper,
For those who don't know, necrophilia is sexual intercourse with someone who is dead. You can call it funny, Alice. I call it sick. I like satire as much as the next person, but chopping off heads and spurting blood all over the place is not my idea of entertainment. I caught your guillotine number in Chicago and almost lost my supper. You have some exceptionally talented performers in your group, and your no slouch yourself, Alice - I just wish you'd clean up your act.